Been doing some research on this issue, and at the same time learning about Blu-Ray audio formats and how they work with a PC.
To make a long story short, after understanding the hardware and the audio paths for on-board audio, I have come to realize that it's impossible to get 5.1 Dolby Digital (or DTS) optical output and 2 channel analogue stereo at the same time from the onboard audio. Basically, the audio processor either processes the audio signal or it doesn't -- and we need a hybrid output. Unless the manufacturer has SPECIFICALLY designed the hardware for this, or you use an add-on sound card (again that is designed for this), you will not get Dolby Digital (or DTS) bitstream and 2 channel analogue stereo at the time time.
Those who have reported success.... I can almost guarantee that they are getting 2 channel PCM output on the optical connector, and not the true Dolby Digital (or DTS) bitsream.
To those wanting to do this -- you will need to purchase an external decoder with the Dolby (and DTS, if desired) logo on it, and that will specifically downmix to 2 channel stereo. I just picked up the Sony MDRDS1000 for $70, which is designed to decond a 5.1 source to headphones. Should work just fine, I can post back if anyone is interested on how well it works. The Midiland ADS 3000 or 4000 would also work, same thing with some of the stand-alone dolby processors you can get used on ebay.