I tried cutting the netgear switch out, and it made no difference (connected the relevant devices directly to the route which has a 10/100 built-in switch). So that rules out the netgear device. I also tried connecting the extender (xbox360) via another windows 7 PC with completely different hardware, and the problem was replicated exactly.
Flow control and a whole host of other settings on the NIC have been tried (enabled/disabled etc) - all made no difference at all.
The only hardware in common between all our PCs is a Terratec Cinergy 2400iDT card, but other posters have already stated they had Hauppauge devices, so I don't think the TV card is the issue. And the processor (Intel E8400) and OS (Windows 7 Ultimate). I have been through the hardware lists for each PC - everything else is different (including hard disk, ICH version, NIC, motherboard manufacturers, graphics cards (one intel, one nvidia)).
Two xbox 360's on the network with the same problems. Both worked perfectly under Vista.